you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
