Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
