I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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