bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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