.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
