Me too!
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
