he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
