Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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