I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
