Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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