question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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