me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
