ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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