even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
