ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
