I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
