literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
