Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
