I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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