And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
