Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
