It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am available for nakedness
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
