i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
