If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
