i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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