Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
