then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
