turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
