Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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