There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
