i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
