There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize