These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
