with your own penis?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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