Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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