The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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