All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
