I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize