yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
