I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
