I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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