my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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