This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
