why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
