Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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