he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
love makes seman taste better
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
last night I used snow as a chaser
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