I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
please come you make the beer taste better
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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