i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
