her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
