Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
