I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
