Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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