woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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