Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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