I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize