called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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