then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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