I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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