Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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