Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
