party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Welp...herpes.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
