there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
