need another drink. this is the easiest way
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
