My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
